Out to eat.

I had the most amazing experience tonight. We decided to go out to eat not quite one week after gastric bypass surgery. Hannah wanted Ruby Tuesdays so we went there. I was kinda nervous about going because I had no idea what I would do besides sip Gatorade. When we got there they sat us in a booth. Now, I know I have only lost 21 pounds but most of it has been in my stomach and face. I slid into the booth and I was amazed. My stomach didn't touch the table and I had tons of extra room! Michael sat beside me and we were comfy. I was very unsure what to do when it came time to order. Luckily my doctor had just given me a card to use in restraunts that explains I had Bariatric Surgery and I can't eat as much to please let me order smaller portions. The only thing I was able to order was a cup of chicken noodle soup. Guys, it was amazing. I only was able to eat about 4 or 5 teaspoons. I ate two saltines...and I was full. That is when it hit me. I CAN really do this! I just have to make good choices and realize when I'm full. I will never eat a whole meal again...but that's ok. That means Michael & I can share. We spent so much more time talking tonight. Our focus was not on the food but each other. It was a nice family meal. I can honestly say I was starting to get pretty bummed because I felt left out while other people were eating. I thought it was the food I was missing, but it wasn't. It was the sharing, the conversation, you know...all the good stuff that goes along when you eat as a family. So, once again my spirits are lifted. Thanks to Sam I Am for all the encouragement before I actually walked in the restraunt. Yesterday I got my soaked out. It was no big deal. I didnt feel a thing. They said I was doing amazing! I admit today everything caught up with me and I was exhausted. I took a 3-4 hour nap & can't keep my eyes open now. I forgot to post this...obviously I was sleepy.

So Very Thankful...

So many people have asked me why I had SGB surgery the DAY BEFORE Thanksgiving. I don't know why exactly. It seemed like a good idea because it's just food and of course that was what Dr. Walsh had available. :-). I did not sleep AT ALL the night before surgery. The anticipation was just more than you can imagine. Going into the operating room was very swift. I remember them asking me lots of questions and strapping my arms down. For some reason I was grateful for that because I had visions of me flopping off the table. Yes, I know...strange. Must have been the meds already coursing through my veins. I was in surgery for about an hour and in recovery for an hour. Thankfully I had done the liver shrinking diet for over three weeks. The surgeon was only able to bypass one foot of my intestines instead of the usual six feet. He told Michael if he had bypassed more I would have major complications with my liver later. He said because I'm so short it shouldn't be a problem. I should still loose weight. I had no expectations about afterwards. I think that worked out well for me. When I woke up I immediately felt like I had been punched in the gut. Then they hooked up the morphine drip and all was well after that. :-) As far as recovery...my recovery has been great. As soon as I was able I was walking laps around the sixth floor. I was only in my actual room a little over 24 hours and I walked 21 laps. I didn't need the morphine after the first night. I was very achy and sore. I still am. The hospital bed made that worse of course and I feel much better now that I am actually home. The hardest thing for me to get used to is sipping slowly, etc. One tiny sip at a time. It makes 64oz of Gatorade a day seem like an almost impossible feat. Since my stomach is the size of an egg and up much higher today is the first day I have understood when I'm full and I'm starting to get used to taking tiny sips, bites, etc. I'm really excited that I've started this journey. With no complications so far I feel so blessed. I'm grateful to all my friends and family that prayed for me and are still praying for me. It has made all the difference. I came home from the hospital with no sleep apnea, no asthma meds, no diabetes meds, no blood pressure meds, and no heart meds. It has been two days and I have lost 4lbs. Totaling 19lbs w/the 15lbs I lost before surgery. I have been walking every day. Today I played outside with my nephews and Hannah. I can't wait to get back to the gym. Never thought I would say that but it's true. I get my staples out Monday and I'm hoping for clearance soon afterwards! Just to walk & cycle etc. I will not push myself TOO hard. :-). I'm already thinking of the things I want to do. I want to go sit at Alex's House and eat because their booths are sooo little I havn't been comfortable there in YEARS. I want to take Hannah to Carowinds...& not worry if my boobs and belly will fit in the ride. I want to get in shape. Like really really in shape. I would love to train and run a half marathon. Scratch that. I WILL train and run a half marathon. I am seeking a closer relationship with God. I want to set a good example for Hannah. More than anything, I want to be an inspiration to others. I've had a lot of health issues, had 14 surgeries, fought depression for the last 15 years? PS. I am winning that fight! I didn't have this surgery because of the way I looked. I love me. I did it because I wanted to rid myself of the diagnosis, diseases, & conditions that were overtaking me and have a chance to be BETTER. I do feel like I have been given a second chance. I know it's gonna be a long rough journey but I'm looking forward to it. My goal is to lose 110 more pounds. Some people may think that's crazy...I like to think I have high standards. The most important thing to remember about Bariatric surgery is that it is just a tool. If you don't use it...it doesn't work. My life is definitely going to be different. I hate the word "diet"...but a good diet and exercise will be a part of me for the rest of my life. I don't regret doing it. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Being able to come home ONE day after surgery without all those meds... How could it not be?

Ohmygosh!!!

I have 36ish hours till surgery! I am so very exited. Scared. Nervous. The anticipation is killing me. I had to do so much to get ready for this and now I'm just waiting... I hope I don't have any major complications. I hope I am successful at this. I have set so many goals for myself in the next year. I'm just going to take it one day, one week, one month at a time. I appreciate everyone who has been so supportive. Some people haven't. So, it's nice. Thanks friends. I'm going to try to calm down a bit so I will eventually sleep tonight. I have an appointment tomorrow @ 1pm for preadmission. Im so afraid I will forget to do something. Ahhh! Goodnight folks. Pray for me!

The Battle of the Bulge

Wednesday is fast approaching. I'm having sleeve gastric bypass. It almost seems like it's not real and I'm kinda scared. I have already lost 15lbs in the past 3 weeks just doing the "liver shrinking diet" recommended by the Bariatric Clinic. I'm excited and nervous but soooo ready to begin this journey. You can follow me if you like...it's just another day in the life of me!